Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
