what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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