So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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