"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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