oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm experimenting with sincerity
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
