oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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