So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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