mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Text me some of your sweat
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
