Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
