I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize