Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
