apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
