Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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