that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
