This girl is more easily done than said...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
