You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize