Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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