sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
