i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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