took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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