Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You need a sexual gate keeper
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
