I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i drank out of a bidet.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
