No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i think my cat just said my name.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
