so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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