and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize