Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
