I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
