do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
