Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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