There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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