You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
