That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize