How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
