Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
