Pants 0. Shit 1.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize