its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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