Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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