Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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