Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
