Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
