Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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