Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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