i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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