I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
