I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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