omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
