just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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