ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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