I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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