My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize