I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just found a bag of teeth...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
