I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
