It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
