his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
