Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
