does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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