No awkward lesbian experiences without me
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
