Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
