Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
