More tranny stories later!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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