you will always have a special place in my vag
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
