it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize