I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
