It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
