listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
