Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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