If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
