There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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