FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
