What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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