New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
