He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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